those resolutions.

How many of you can remember your 2014 New Year’s resolution(s)? Did you stick to them? Did you make an honest effort? Are you upholding those resolutions today? Maybe it seems senseless to think about these things, considering that we made these promises and hopes to ourselves nearly a year ago now. Time is ticking…

I try to think back to the end of last December. What did my life look like then? What were my goals? I was preparing to start my final semester of graduate school. I was anticipating a new year with beautiful people all around me, making me ever-appreciative of all that had brought me to that time of year – my favorite time of year. It wasn’t really that long ago, so why am I so shocked at how drastically different my life is now? Why am I stunned at all of the vibrant moments that are now simple memories? Just goes to show you how precious time really is.

At the start of a new year, the “time” to accomplish these set goals seems rather excessive. A whole year?!

We think we have so much time…

We think we have time to get a better gym routine or make more effort to talk to our parents. We think we have time to write more, learn more, travel. Time to do more good, take up the hobby in which we’ve been interested. Or time to work through our fears and love better. This dangerous thought makes it easy to push resolutions of every kind off to tomorrow. Essentially, the very things and ideas and pursuits that make life the glorious experience it is, can easily get put on hold. Or not be pursued as valiantly as they should. Because we have so much time. “All the time in the world,” we tell ourselves… But thinking back on 2014, I realize how little time I had to achieve all of these. A year is so short. And now, I feel the pressure and stress; did I do any of these as mightily as I’d hoped?

While I did achieve some of what I wanted in the last year, I know I could have been spent some of that time better.  I read an article recently that offers up some resolution inspiration.  We prepare to close out 2014 (a fact which is absolutely astounding to me – how is it nearly over when I still vividly remember its first few seconds?). And as we do so, I challenge you to have several kinds of conversations. Ones with others, family members, loved ones, and ones with yourself.

All of the guidelines in this article are ones I completely support. Doing more for others and sharing more meals with the people you care about. Listening to new music and being intentionally present in conversations. To me, these matter. And these are some overarching goals that I hope to carry into the unbelievably and rapidly approaching new year.

Complain less.

Spend less time worrying.

Spend less time on your phone.

Pray more.

Cut yourself some slack.

Challenge yourself more. 

How can anyone argue with these? Though I’ve yet to determine all I hope for in 2015, I think these are offering a great start for me. I will do more traveling. I will spend more time with God. I will write more. I will be kinder to myself. I will be positive everyday.

The life lessons in 2014 were plentiful, and though the dynamic of my life has been radically changing with each day, I am so grateful for all that this year offered. For the pain, struggle, victories, and accomplishments. I am definitely not perfect at recognizing where I need to improve, and fall just as short at achieving the goals I choose to set. But, I make an incredibly intentional effort to consider what my soul needs most. My heart is completley in it. Ultimately, that’s what I want to say of my life in general – that my heart is completely in it. In every relationship, in every minute, and in all that I do – my heart is completely in it.

My hope is that you’ll take a look at this article and form some new ideas for yourself. Challenge yourself. Decide how to spend the precious time you have in 2015. My hope is that you’ll feel how truly precious our time is. You’ll forgive yourself for your shortcomings, and use those to inspire a new vision for all that you are and all that you will be in the year to come.

 

a quiet season.

I tend to be very long-winded. Ask any of my close friends or family, and they’ll tell you horror stories of the novels I send via text message. “It’s a 2 message minimum.” This is my disclaimer; you’ve been warned. Try as I might to consolidate and paraphrase – for anything in life – I truly can’t help it. I’m a talker.

Rather, I’m a communicator. This is a characteristic I’ve grown into with age. My experiences, my interests, my friends, my mother…all of these have factored in to what makes me the verbose, drawn out, interminable expressionist that I am. I live through my tendency to dream and my preference to tell great stories. No matter the precaution, these characteristics permeate my life, my job, and my relationships. A blessing and a curse, I have a great connection to my emotions. I’m a girl who utilizes her very strong intuition, writes out cards and sends emails just to stay connected. A girl who, despite her high interest and capacity for social media communication, prefers face-to-face contact. Even the most personal and authentic digital connection loses out to the transparent and real connection between 2 people physically in the same conversation.

I think there is a remarkable freedom to be found in connection. Building relationships with people – open, genuine, raw, trusting…this is my life goal. What’s the purpose in living this life with others if not to truly invest in others? To connect and feel and invest…and most importantly, not regret?

Therein lies the double-edged sword. Sometimes I feel so much that I don’t have words to say. Or perhaps too many words at once. The ups and downs of life are evocative enough, creating painful silence – not for lack of feeling but for an abundance of it. Like the grains of sand to the opening of an hourglass, I often experience a rush of feeling and expression so strong that it’s too much to convey at once. One of those times is now. This past week. Today.

Times like these are guaranteed. The overwhelming, the speechless times. And for someone like me, these prove incredibly difficult. Even as I’m writing this blog, I feel like my effort is fruitless, and my thoughts won’t translate. Honestly, it’s one of the shortest ones I’ve written. I suppose I need to grant myself a little bit of grace for that. But with this frustration comes appreciation; I feel so fortunate to have made the connections and relationships I have. My gratitude is never-ending. I’m living with absolutely no regret. And the inability to express how strongly I feel may prove to be exactly what I need.

This particular season in life is teaching me incredible lessons, and though some are difficult to embrace, I can’t deny the fact that I’m growing. I’m learning how to live better, serve better, show my gratitude better, and love better. These lessons are many:

• Genuinely personal connections are fewer than ever; and the need for them has never been greater.
• Life is meant to be lived with/for/serving/supporting/encouraging other people.
• There is joy to be found in putting others before yourself.
• It’s okay to feel everything. It’s okay to feel a lot. And it’s okay to let it silence you.
• The opportunity to tell people what they mean to you may not always exist; do not take it for granted.

Do you experience times where you feel overwhelmed by life? Do you think we need to pursue more intentional and invested communication with people?